Top Ten Worst Games
We’ve all had games we were looking forward to playing, but when we finally get to play them, they turn out to be less than we anticipated. These are no exception. While I may not have been looking forward to every one of these game at their release, I developed high expectations for them thanks to my friends’ comments about them. These have been the only times when they have steered me wrong. Here are, what I believe, to be the top ten worst games released (or scheduled to be released) in the US in the last decade and a half.
10. Touch the Dead (DS) – First-person zombie shooter. The main character moves on his own. You just touch the screen to shoot. Lame. The slide to reload can get annoying too.
9. Dissidia: Final Fantasy (PSP) – Decent brawler, but the plot has to be the most convoluted I’ve ever seen. The deities of good and evil summon characters from each of the numerical titles in the console franchise to do battle.
8. Devil May Cry 2 (PS2) – Everything about this was just… off. From Dante’s character, to the story. If you ask me, this is non-canonical. Either that, or too far in the canon’s future to even be considered canonical.
DMC2
DMC1
7. Infinite Undiscovery (360) – All I can say is “Meh.” Your standard bland RPG, nothing special here.
6. Zone of the Enders: The Fist of Mars (GBA) – Turn-based strategy which switches to FPS for battles? Yeah… no.
5. Final Fantasy IX (PSX) – This game had so many glaring plot holes that by disc 3, I was calling it Final Swiss Cheese.
4. Rule of Rose (PS2) – Lackluster 1930s survivor horror with a canine companion. Even if it was released today, Resident Evil 1 is a better survivor horror game.
3. Final Fantasy XII (PS2) – XI’s baby MMO-wannabe brother. Dear Square-Enix, a single-person MMO-esque game does not work.
2. Revelations: Persona (PSX) – This is probably the only time you’ll see me really bad-mouthing Atlus. They truly butchered this game while localizing it. Changing names so they’re American, recoloring character portraits to another ethnicity (ie: Mark), cutting out half of the game… Yeah…
Japan
US
1. Elite Beat Agents (DS) – I have so many quarrels with this game it’s not even funny.This 2006 title features the same game play as 2005’s Osu! Tatakae! Ouendan, but with a horrendous song list geared towards western audiences. The scenarios in the game have also been tailored towards a western audience.
Osu! Tatakae! Ouendan (ORIGINAL)
Elite Beat Agents
Be careful putting down Dissidia; there are legions of Final Fantasy fapping fanboys out there that’ll have your head for even hinting it was anything less than genius (and that’s just the commenters on Kotaku)!
While we’re bashing shitty Final Fantasy tie-in games, we’d be remiss if we didn’t include Ehrgeiz. The controls sucked, the storyline was almost completely absent, and to call the environments sparse would be kind.
Final Fantasy, genius? Hah. That has to be the biggest joke of the millennium.
Though, I do have to agree with you about Ehrgeiz…
Dude, way to bring the controversy on post one!
I’ll leave the Final Fantasy flaming where it stands, because I’ve usually found no good can come of it. Fights about “teh best RPG” are usually remind me far too much of fights over favorite sports teams… it’s much more about what you grew up with, and what stories grabbed you at particular moments. If you grew up with the Red Sox, it doesn’t matter if I throw Yankee stats at you all night, you’re never going to agree that they’re your favorite team.
But dude, I must take issue with your standards! These are the worst games? Elite Beat Agents as #1? You, my friend, have had a privileged gaming life… because Elite Beat Agents, while probably a bad port, is definitely playable. You ain’t seen slums like I’ve seen. What about ET for Atari? Sonic 3D? Clay Fighter 2? Star Fox Dinosaur Planet?
Play Universal Theme Park Adventure, take four tylenol, and call me in the morning. You will rethink your list, and your life.
Welcome to Pop Ten, Andrew! We only argue because we love.
These are the worst that I’ve played. There’s no doubt in anyone’s mind that there are a shitload of titles much much worse than these 10.
That and I basically live at GameStop, so I’ve gone through an assload of games, and I am not doing a Top Fifty
And thanks for the welcome!