Welcome one and all to the only list that provides you with a synopsis of not the best, not the most powerful or fastest, but the sexiest cars of the past decade. Yes, cars can be very sexy. In the midst of this massive project to find the ten sexiest cougars, panthers, and kittens from 2000 to 2009, I was asked a very interesting question regarding my list. How can cars be sexy?
Upon being asked this question I was momentarily at a loss for words, but after thorough analysis of hundreds of shapely metal bodies, I’ve solidified my response and tapered the details to such an answer. It’s very simple in essence; cars can be excruciatingly ugly, therefore they can be truly beautiful. One would say that doesn’t equate to sexy and one would be right. Sexy is one step above beautiful and doesn’t have to imply sex as the first three letters aptly read. Although I want to touch everything I find sexy, that is far from a lustful desire. I find panthers to be sexy creatures and surely I’d love to rub the strong coat of one, but I dare not in fear of my life (let alone fornicate the wild beast). Sexy to me implies tightly-wrapped luscious curves, perfectly accented features, a smooth hue with contrasting shadows and tones of depth, a hint of class matched with a taste of danger, and seductive vibes of mystery. That’s sexy.
So are these ten, meticulously chosen vehicles, that define a decade of beauty through auto. Not only has the past decade been a competition between car manufacturers alike to create the most powerful, fastest beast on the streets; it has also been an open canvas for the expressive cartists to put their imagination to the streets. Devising this list was no easy task, I promise. At first I thought I knew a LOT of car makers and my list was complete. Then I realized this is Popten! We are no ordinary top ten guru blog. We are THE gurus of top ten blogging. With this in mind, I knew it wasn’t fair to the readers for me to stop at my own knowledge base, so I went ahead and researched every car maker that has been in production over the past ten years; filtering out the garbage and pouring you this glass of pure automobile sexiness. So check it out and please remember these cars are in the list solely based on their aesthetic value; not on performance or quality (although some of them are really fuckin’ fasssst). There are only two rules on this list: No two cars from the same manufacturer in the Top Ten & no ties!
10. 2002 Plymouth Prowler/2008 Foose Coupe
I like big butts and I sure as hell cannot deny… that this one of a kind beautiful ass-et of the Chrysler Corporation has got a big one itself! And surely enough, it’s sexy. At the bottom of the sexy list, but not to be ashamed by any means (considering the list of the hot whips this one cracked) is the Prowler. You may be wondering why it seems I’ve already broken one of only two rules. The truth is I made this one a double because controversy behind the design of the Plymouth Prowler’s hot rod appearance states it has originally evolved from designs by one of today’s hot rod kings; Chip Foose. Foose, who appears in Overhaulin’ on TLC, later went on to independently design the Foose Coupe (seen above-right). Although both of these night crawlers resemble Foose’s sharp artistic flavor, the Prowler still hunts alone in the night leaving the Foose Coupe for the scavengers. Slicing through the wind, the Prowler is the only car on this list that doesn’t confine itself to the norm of sexy colors for cars. Usually cars look their best in gun metal, black or white (maybe even red). But no, the Prowler taunts you with it’s ability to seduce in purple. It peers down your nose with it’s engaging eyes as you enter a staring contest with the perfectly tapered body it flaunts. Smooth and straight forward are perfect adjectives for this hot rod. The balance between simplicity and style is clear-cut and to the point. Plymouth got it right on the nose with the Prowler and even added a touch of nudity with exposed shoulders. You seductive prowler you.
Chrysler is definitely bringing sexy back…with the re-vamped modern Dodge Challenger. This sexy beast is back with a vengeance, doing exactly what it was intended to do in the 70’s; steal the show from the Mustang and Camaro. The 1970 Challenger was far from a show stopper compared to the brute beauty of the Camaro and rugged machismo of the ‘Stang. However, in today’s times the Challenger is far from submissive compared to the angrier, angular Camaro and droopy, confused Mustang. Dodge really got their shit together for this one. Depleting the competition, this car just looks really bad-ass. Take note of the simplicity of it’s subtle curves while it maintains an appeal that almost makes you step back in fear. Follow it’s accentuating lines as it draws you in to its glance; a quick one at that. Taste it’s flavor without need for complexity for it bites so cleanly. It’s slightly raised back end appears to be perched, ready to pounce as it squints at you with it’s passively aggressive headlights, waiting for the right moment to burn it’s rubber feet and scream straight towards you. A perfect blend of animal instinct and style with a confident grin, the Challenger says, “don’t fuck with me; just admire me from afar.” When comparing the beauty of modern muscle cars, it’s not a challenge; it is only the Challenger.
When I think of high-end Japanese tuner cars, I generally don’t consider them to be sexy. In fact, I find most of them…umm…kinda cute. Always reminds me of anime; like a massive eyed (and breasted) beautiful girl that all of a sudden pulls out hand-cuffs, a fifteen foot sword and fucks your brains out (literally and figuratively). The Skyline is no bit of anime though. Nissan in general has always provided the most powerful and beautiful cars out of Japan, but this one really proves their abilities. Think of the Skyline R34 as a 30 foot tall, fire-breathing dragon packed into a four-wheel drive, two door piece of metal work genius. That’s it. Now that you’ve got the picture, bring your vicious dragon over to NISMO for a little maker-over and you’ve really got a show-stopper. Nissan has brought the Skyline a long way since the original Prince design in 1957, which was quite similar to the ’57 Chevy Bel Air. Since then, the Skyline has gone through several design changes and become an iconic car in the tuner world, as shown in movies such as 2 Fast 2 Furious. Back to our dragon. At first glance you may notice the front end, which shows you it’s eyes tapered toward the middle of the car seemingly angered. The hood provides brow lines for the headlights and a bridge for the nose-like grill. What NISMO does really well here is complicate a car that is too simple. Although many of the cars on this list are sexy in their simplicity, this one is not. The R34’s complexity draws you in so many different ways it’s hectic, possibly causing a state of anxiousness. A slight ridge crossing the mid-section of the doors, a beautiful system of airflow on the front spoiler, the subtle hip extension of the rear wheel well, those eager eyes and of course those perfectly shaped feet (most stock rims are shit). Now, like some women, I really appreciate this car more from the back. It’s just amazing to look at as it roars away. Talk about having eyes on the back of your head; this car grins at you from the front and back (anyone see the evil Johnny 5 resemblance?). To top it off, the tail of the skyline is one in a million and doesn’t over-do it in terms of accented details. Hard to beat, the Skyline really tops off the competition and even has the power to back it up!
The subtle flow and beauty of this car really separates it from the previous. It stands on it’s own while blending in with the crowd. Originally modeled after the Volkswagen Jetta, this super A4 has managed to come a long way aesthetically while not really changing all that much. You may be noticing a theme here with key points as to what makes each car sexy. This auto does not teeter from that, rather it exemplifies these points in a clean-cut manner. The headlights for one, are tapered toward the inside to provide an aggressive stare. The wheel wells are ever so subtly extended adding to the curvature of the hips. There is a nose to the car, centered between the eyes that reaches out just past the headlights and providers further depth and direction. Overall, the shape of the car angles slightly downward from the back to the front giving you a solid feeling of where the car is going. What really sets the RS4 Quattro apart is more than just these features; it’s the way the design incorporates all of these features in a beautifully connected style. Not only that, but their features are unique in their own right. From the headlights, we move to the signature Audi grill and flow right back to the fog light cavity, on to the non-intrusive gills, around the voluptuous front wheel well and smoothly on to the rear without a single rigid movement. Another feature I love about this car is how it makes ground clearance sexy. Although the space between the frame and the ground is usually minimal in high-value production cars, this masterpiece keeps the space as well as the appeal. The Audi RS4 Quattro is one auto that always looks good on all fours.
Perfection in a luxury automobile exists, and it’s here in Jaguar’s XJ Super V8. Everything about this car excites my inners and almost makes me want to leap out of my seat. It is, exactly what it aspires to be; a Jaguar. Every feature on the car exemplifies it’s wild nature, while remaining smooth coated and seductively gorgeous as a species. Maybe there are no spots, but every accent on this automobile flows into the next as though it were moving in park. It softly purrs, watching you as you circle it, taking in it’s long, thin frame. The elegance of the body soothes and flows like wind through your fingers. Go ahead; drag your finger along it’s midsection accent line and feel the aura of this cat. Proportionally this vehicle has it down to a T. The engine compartment is perfect in length compared to the trunk. The height of the car provides a feeling of speed, yet elegance. Ground clearance is perfect as is the angle of the body. There is nothing excessive on this vehicle and every touch of class is added in the right place to give it a sexy feel. Notice the luxurious side vents and the way the headlights don’t appear aggressive, yet they reach out and pull you in. Sharp, yet smooth. Subtle, yet distinct, Quiet, yet roaring. Jaguar’s XJ Super V8 Portfolio isn’t the king of the jungle, but it’s content being the agile beauty of the Amazon.
But of course. There was no doubt that one item on this list would have to be from the oldest car manufacturer there is (unless you count Stanley Steamer). Mercedes-Benz is and always has been the pioneer of the automobile industry, continuously providing the world with the highest quality in automobile design and craftsmanship. It is almost unfair since they’ve had the longest run of experience, but that is neither here nor there. I chose the S65 AMG as the icon of their craftsmanship over all of the other notable models because it is truly the sexiest. Some of the creations sprouting from the Mercedes assembly line haven’t been so attractive, but there have been an abundance of super models. This one really tops them all and it is the latest, most powerful of the AMG line-up. Note that Mercedes is a prominently luxury car company and on the same note, I stated that the Jaguar XJ was the perfect luxury car (aesthetically). This brought up a problem for me since I spent nearly an hour debating on which one was more attractive. It was an excruciatingly difficult task, but I ultimately chose the Mercedes-Benz to be number 5. This decision is based on some deep thought and a lot of prestige. Although Jaguar has deep roots in history as well, the company does not go as far back as the Daimler-Benz Corporation. With this in mind, I realized that Mercedes is way ahead of the game and the simplistic, modern style of beauty prevalent now is soon bound to be a thing of the past. This is where my decision became clear; the S65 AMG is a sexy vehicle of the future. Also noted, the AMG line-up is one that is meant to merge the boundaries of luxury and pure power therefore making it a luxury sports automobile. The S65 AMG is blissful. It cuts the edge on simplicity and boasts it’s lines like a nose-bleeding coke addict. A collage of beauty, every edge is contoured into the next, providing a system of shadows and awe-inspiring seduction. And just like a person, beauty is further enhanced by a mysterious and insatiable personality within; a modest description of this auto’s display. Sharp and sexy, this car doesn’t scream, “LOOK AT ME!”, it whispers ever so softly to your eyes, “I’m here.” This really IS Mercedes-Benz.
Gemballa is a company based in Leonberg, Germany that has been providing custom after-market parts for Porsche models since 1981, as well as creating their own higher-performance Porsche models. The Avalanche GTR 550 is a perfect example of what Gemballa can do. They took Porsche’s sexiest model, the 997 GT2 (the fastest, most powerful model which has been face-lifted from the 911 model), and made it number 4 on the top ten sexiest cars of the past decade. This car pretty much speaks for itself. It’s unmistakable appearance easily pushes other competitors aside and strives little to be noticed. There is nothing in the world that looks like it and there is a reason for that. Like the Jaguar XJ series, the Porsche 911/997 line-up has a consistent beauty that flows from year to year and only gets better with age (don’t we wish we were like the 911?). The way the hood sinks between the headlights and the back curves over to the front. The soft aerodynamics of this car’s body manage to slice through the wind without cutting your hands. Also, it’s wide stance and bodacious hips subdue it’s true aggressiveness, but that is all made up for with the deep ventilation pockets and the way the body seems to sink into itself. Gemballa’s work has managed to maintain the legacy of this beautiful machine while advancing upon it’s stunning good looks and timid appearance, providing a more aggressive edge. The GTR 550 is not one to be reckoned with, for it will sweep you off your feet with it’s fast paced, free-falling beauty.
A classic favorite of mine and the only auto on this list that has always been one of the most beautiful, ever since it’s first model in 1986. The M3. Don’t get it twisted, this is no luxury car. Although BMW has long competed with Mercedes-Benz, it is BMW’s superb handling and the way the car feels when you drive it that really sets the standard for a non-exotic sports car. BMW is definitely not the most luxurious automaker, although they do have their own successful armada of sedans which have easily set themselves apart from their German counterparts. The M3 is a work of true genius and a meticulous masterpiece of automotive art. It is so pure and distinct, yet almost like every other car out there; or maybe every other car out there is like the M3. Just look at it and admire the way it appeases you. Confidence emanates from the slightly taught eyes and the smirk expressed through it’s face to it’s parallel levels of distinction. The perfection of it’s body lures you in and confides in your desire to drive it. Notice the accented line that parades across it’s torso and seems to lose itself in the extended wheel well. Perfectly proportioned like the jaguar, but with only two doors. Just enough of every little detail to tantalize the senses without distracting you from its entirety. It engages you. It consumes you. It envelops you and then it starts all over. Simplicity is perfectly shown here. If you don’t understand me then that’s exactly what I mean. There isn’t much to this car in an edgy glamorous way, but that’s why it’s so beautiful. The M3 will enlarge your pupils and burst your heart with it’s insanely attractive appeal. It’s just that good.
Are you surprised? Ferrari has always been a leader in the exotic sports car world. Italy in general has been pumping out a vast majority of the fastest production cars the world has ever seen while breaking the boundary between art and auto. Ferrari is definitely not shy. They have incorporated the intense angularity of fighter jets into many of their performance models (not than any aren’t performance based). I honestly feel there is little need to even explain the beauty of this car, but I will anyway so I can distinguish it from the other Italian superstar (sorry Lambo fans, not on this list). Lamborghini undoubtedly has also produced some of the most powerful and respected cars out of Italy, but a good majority of them are ugly as hell. In more recent years, they’ve been more successful in creating sharper, more attractive cars. Unfortunately for them, Ferrari has a much better reputation for providing a balance between performance and stunning aesthetics. The F430 is one of the best examples of their artistic design (the other would be the F355 Barchetta, but they stopped producing them in ’99 so they’re exempt from the list). The F430 is actually a remodel of the 360 which replaced my favorite, the F355. If you can’t see the beauty in a Ferrari, it’s way more than just $170,000. The F430’s smooth, yet sharp fighter-jet inspiration is prevalent throughout. Beauty is clear at every angle and rounded edge. The carbon fiber accents are perfect, the proportions are beyond excellent, and it’s not even afraid to show the glory of it’s insides; featuring a glass engine shield. Every inch of this car will ‘suck & fuck’ you until you can’t breathe. It is not modest at all, screaming past you with a wind that forces you to turn and appreciate it’s magnificence. Everything about this car says out right that it is confident, expensive, sexy, fast and worth every last penny.
So what could be better than this Italian goddess?
And the winner is…
Irrefutably. The Most. Beautiful car in the world. This car is so fucking sexy I had to use the word ‘fucking’ simply to express the sexiness of it. And no, it’s not just because James Bond co-starred next to this deity in Casino Royale. This car is just the cat’s meow. It is so perfect in every way. A 12 cylinder, 510 horsepower, $265,000 temptress. It seduces in a way no other automobile can. Where do I even begin? Maybe I’ll start with the perfect shape and angles of the hood, which only of course, lead to the beautiful headlights illuminating the future. Ah, and the sensual grill accompanied by the surrounding vents of subtle aerodynamic pleasure. The open gills on the side give air to the transition from front to back which flows so smoothly. At the rear is the entire car coming to a smooth finish surrounded by itself in a curvaceous flow of metal extravagance. Even the taillights perfectly accentuate the classy performance the car entails. Everything is exactly where and how it should be. There is no other word for this car but perfect. It excites me to even look at it; to know a car this beautiful exists in the world. Aside from its beauty, it is also one of the best made cars out there. Fast, durable, with excellent handling and of course, sexy. The Aston Martin DBS.
I’d like to give a shout-out to the runners-up for it was a tedious and heart-breaking task excluding these beautiful machines from the list:
(In no specific order)
2001 BMW 740iL (E38)
2009 Nissan Maxima
2008 Lamborghini Murcielago LP640
2009 Mercedes-Benz E63 AMG (W212)
2009 Audi R8
2009 Maybach Laundaulet
2008 Saleen S302 Extreme
2009 Chevrolet Corvette ZR-1
2009 Bentley Continental Flying Spur/GTC Speed
2006 Weismann Roadster
2006 Jaguar XKR
Which ten would you choose?