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Burn Before Watching

Saturday night I went to the movies to see the new Coen brothers flick, Burn After Reading. Though I’d love to tell you all about this movie, and how it’s basically like the 2008 version of Pulp Fiction, which in my opinion is AWESOME, I wont. That’s not what this is about. Instead, I’d rather rant a bit, about how ridiculous my movie going experience always is. I mean, it’s like the biggest mind fuck of all time.

Oh, and I’ll do it in a top ten way, just to be consistent.

1.) Eleven dollars? Really? Do you do the whole “student discount” thing? No? Damn.

2.) Eleven dollars? Really? For a small popcorn, and a coke? Damn.

3.) Oh, you’re saving these seats? All of them? The whole fu*ckin’ row!? Damn.

4.) Oh no. Don’t tell me they still let teenagers into movie theaters.

5.) Is that a cell phone ringing?

6.) Is that a baby crying. Jesus, there’s gonna be killing, and teenagers, going on.

7.) Oh, no, no one’s sitting here. Or the seat next to this one. But of course, you want to sit right next to me, fat boy.

8.) Hey fat boy, there’s no more soda left in there. It’s gone. GONE. Stop with the slurping. It’s bad enough you’re demolishing your popcorn, as if tastes like it’s worth eleven bucks. Plus, there’s babies in here! And teenagers. Have some dignity, and show some respect and maturity.

9.) Damn.

10) and dammit.

And then finally, the movie starts. I swear this is how it goes every single time.

5 thoughts on “Burn Before Watching”

  1. victor says:

    Hah- that reminds me of this time Juan and I went to the Yonkers theater, and this entire family comes in really late- to an R rated movie, of course. They think it’s a baseball game, yelling, “Who’s got the popcorn? Oh, pass it here!” Then the cell phone cacophony begins. But the best moment- this dude whips out his phone and starts *calling* people! Everyone around them is getting all frustrated… and the kicker? The movie we were all watching was “Crash”- we were living the movie. Amazing. (And ditto on Andrew Bird- can’t get enough of that dude!)

  2. victor says:

    Hah- that reminds me of this time Juan and I went to the Yonkers theater, and this entire family comes in really late- to an R rated movie, of course. They think it’s a baseball game, yelling, “Who’s got the popcorn? Oh, pass it here!” Then the cell phone cacophony begins. But the best moment- this dude whips out his phone and starts *calling* people! Everyone around them is getting all frustrated… and the kicker? The movie we were all watching was “Crash”- we were living the movie. Amazing. (And ditto on Andrew Bird- can’t get enough of that dude!)

  3. Jamie Antonisse says:

    Number three, man. Every time I get into a theater, I see seven people saving 100 good seats. I think it’s time for some federal legislation on this issue.

  4. Jamie Antonisse says:

    Number three, man. Every time I get into a theater, I see seven people saving 100 good seats. I think it’s time for some federal legislation on this issue.

  5. Mike Wroblewski says:

    I’m lost on the comparison between a fairly bad movie and a really good film. I truly disliked this movie, although Brad Pitt getting shot in the head was rather hilarious.

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