Burn Before Watching
Saturday night I went to the movies to see the new Coen brothers flick, Burn After Reading. Though I’d love to tell you all about this movie, and how it’s basically like the 2008 version of Pulp Fiction, which in my opinion is AWESOME, I wont. That’s not what this is about. Instead, I’d rather rant a bit, about how ridiculous my movie going experience always is. I mean, it’s like the biggest mind fuck of all time.
Oh, and I’ll do it in a top ten way, just to be consistent.
1.) Eleven dollars? Really? Do you do the whole “student discount” thing? No? Damn.
2.) Eleven dollars? Really? For a small popcorn, and a coke? Damn.
3.) Oh, you’re saving these seats? All of them? The whole fu*ckin’ row!? Damn.
4.) Oh no. Don’t tell me they still let teenagers into movie theaters.
5.) Is that a cell phone ringing?
6.) Is that a baby crying. Jesus, there’s gonna be killing, and teenagers, going on.
7.) Oh, no, no one’s sitting here. Or the seat next to this one. But of course, you want to sit right next to me, fat boy.
8.) Hey fat boy, there’s no more soda left in there. It’s gone. GONE. Stop with the slurping. It’s bad enough you’re demolishing your popcorn, as if tastes like it’s worth eleven bucks. Plus, there’s babies in here! And teenagers. Have some dignity, and show some respect and maturity.
10) and dammit.
And then finally, the movie starts. I swear this is how it goes every single time.