Sex Sells: Top Ten Advertising Innuendos


They say that sex sells and they, whoever they are, were right!

Through many lonely afternoons gazing mindlessly at the boob-tube, I’ve contemplated vast fantasies, simultaneously succumbing to the manipulative tactics of advertising gurus. Then it clicked! I began to realize that all these commercials are absolutely, completely perverted.

Time and time again I’m reminded of how faithful this theory is with continual reminders from the biggest brands. Everyone from car companies to watch makers, fast food joints to coffee brewers, have been trying to tell me something: buy our crap and think about sex. Clearly I do not associate my local phone company with fornication, but a simple line of masterfully orchestrated linguistics has made this possible. Some brands have broken this typographic border to even include these subtleties into their imagery.

(More after the jump…)

Now, this may seem obvious to some extent because a lot of companies don’t hide the fact that their logos are purely sexual. Products like condoms, lingerie, body wash, after shave, diapers, and makeup (I find it rather ironic that women are used as sexual objects of desire in most men’s products as well as in women’s products. When do you ever see men in makeup or women’s hygiene commercials?). Although these products are prime examples for this magnificent marketing technique, there are many other companies that are in no direct way related to such acts of splendor, yet formulate mottoes that can easily be perceived otherwise.

I am left to wonder if this is due to some subliminal wiring that has been discovered by advertising geniuses and ignored by the general public or merely a convenient coincidence. Either way, this article shows that we as a people love the concept of sex, even if it is associated with watches, sneakers, and candy coated chocolate. The study in this article covers the top ten slogans chosen through a survey of one hundred professionals. How many of them have sexual references?

That being noted, here is the list of top ten sexual slogan references in the advertising/marketing world.

Nike: Just do it (this one is a given, but needs to be noted since sneakers are rarely associated with sex, yet this is such a popular and powerful slogan.)

10. AT&T: Reach out and touch someone.

9. Wendy’s: Do what tastes right. (My thoughts exactly.)

8. Campari: The first time is never the best. (This is arguable in some instances.)

7. Campbell’s: M’m M’m Good. (Same as above.)

6. Energizer: It keeps going, and going, and going… (The dream)

5. M&M’s: Melts in your mouth – not in your hands. (No comment.)

4. Access Credit Card: Access takes the waiting out of wanting. (Access is apparently the new consent.)

3. Gatorade: Is it in you? (This could be a precarious question if spoken at the [in]appropriate time)

2. Wagon Wheels: It’s so big, you’ve got to grin to get it in.

1. Maxwell House: Good to the last drop/Tastes as good as it smells.

A conflict arose in my head over the number one and number two spots. I love Wagon Wheels slogan, but I can’t help but give extra credit to Maxwell House’s amazing ability to construct two perfectly hilarious yet appropriate slogans (although I do not personally like coffee, they still fit).

…and here are the runner-ups:

11. Timex: Takes a licking and keeps on ticking.

12. Toyota: Oh what a feeling.

13. KFC: Finger-lickin’ good!

14. Burger King: Have it your way.

15. Yellow Pages: Let your fingers do the walking.

16. Geico: So easy a caveman can do it.

17. Almond Joy/Mounds: Sometimes you feel like a nut, sometimes you don’t.

18. British Gas: Don’t you just love being in control?

19. White Castle: What you crave.

20. Gillette: The best a man can get.

That is merely the beginning. Now that you have been enlightened, I hope every commercial and advertisement you pass will kick your gears of perversion into motion. If you are contemplating other companies not mentioned above, check out this slogan database.

Mike Wroblewski

...For eighteen years my mind was held captive by a robotic core nervous system controlled by a secret government paid project called the Asur System. They were able to subjugate my mind in accordance with their "system". Years were spent gathering bits of information and experiencing the events in between objectives. The help of a fated stranger, H, allowed me to free myself from the constraints instilled by the conglomeration. H was able to hack my system and provide me with the freedom to think completely on my own. It was only a matter of time before the conglomeration would get to H. The order was sent for me to take out the very individual who aided in my escape. Luckily, my new abilities had allowed me to combat my wicked ways. In my failure to execute my freer, the hit grew to both of us. After a years of running and hiding they caught up to us, but this time I wasn't able to hold them off. I managed to escape. H did not. Since that day dark day, I've stopped running. Now I am the one chasing. Every day is a beautifully orchestrated battle amongst a field of flowers. The war between the Asur and me is an endless one. Eternally, I absorb information and battle their D-Men as they come along; expanding my mind to fulfill the universe. I am Mr. O'siris

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5 Responses

  1. Hello to all ! Greetings From Poland. very Good Page !

  2. Hello to all ! Greetings From Poland. very Good Page !

  3. vichi says:

    You forgot Nike: Just do it!

  4. Javiii says:

    How about chevy runs deep

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