Man, what a weird start to the day.
Fig. 1: The Baja Fresh burrito, apparently my spirit animal.
When Belinda alerted me about this random free burrito promotion on Facebook, I realized… I KNEW IT WAS GOING TO HAPPEN.
Yes, last night I had a dream. I haven’t eaten at the Baj* in years, not since being converted to the SoCal combo of Chipotle and Actual Mexican Food. But in my dream, I was eating a chicken and rice burrito, and it was all too familiar.
My dream-logic thought process:
BRAIN: I think this burrito is from Baja Fresh. How did I get here?
BRAIN: Man, this burrito isn’t that bad. I can really taste the guacamole. It tastes like Green.
BRAIN: Damn, this burrito is taking forever to eat.
It was at that point that I realized the burrito was regenerating at the back while I ate the front. I’d fallen for the oldest trick in the book of burrito tricks. Yet, like Sisyphus, I persevered, chowing down on this ever-expanding tortilla. And, like my fan-fic version of Sisyphus, I ultimately triumphed. I was just finishing the last bite of the beast, just savoring that last taste of Green… and then, as I do on so many mornings, I woke up. Sweating, jaw aching, no memory of my conquest.
This trivial, forgotten dream came rushing back to me when I saw that Baja Fresh coupon. I thought maybe it was destiny. Then I read the fine print.
“Not valid in… USC… LAX… and New York”
What does it mean? I may never know. But it’s time for lunch, and I’m making myself a sandwich.
*Super-popular nickname for Baja Fresh.