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WTF Asia

There is a lot of talk about how globalization and the web are turning the world from a big place into a small one. I completely disagree, if anything the web allows us to see the true vastness of Earth. As evidence lets look to Asia. This crazy continent with the most people and the oldest civilization is to big to wrap your head around. The rules of physics, social dynamics, and culture are so different one can only scratch their head and say what the fuck!

North Korea may not be able to feed their entire population or make LCD TVs, but they did create the largest screen on earth. 12000 school children were turned into pixels to create the immense images celebrating 60 years of brutal suppression and standing up to the US of A. Now that is Kim Jong Ill.

See the top ten Asian WTF videos after the jump.

9. Afghanistan’s national sport Buzkashi is like kill the carrier on horse back, but instead of a carrying a ball they use a decapitated goat carcass. Skip to 2:30 in the video to see the action underway. The Taliban outlawed this ancient game, but Afghan’s are playing it again along with other national pass times kite fighting and dog fighting. Anyone else see a theme here? And we picked a fight with these people? What were we thinking? Lesson to be learned: let Afghans control Afghanistan cause we probably won’t ever crack this nut.

8. Don’t watch this if animal sex shocks or offends you. Alright, I don’t know what country this is from. If you know, tell me in the comments. But I assume you can only get elephant rides in Asia, maybe Thailand or India. This video also reveals a very weird youtube policy. Human sex bad, animal sex A-O-K. Makes you wonder if some trained chimp is getting his jollies right now. Would you like to take an elephant f-ride if you had the chance?

7. Mongolians have been wrestling for eons. Somehow they figured out how men in speedos and vests can give each other wedgies and look manly at the same time. They make the WWF look like pantomime playboys, And compared to the UFC I really question whose culture is more civilized at this point. They often dust each other off after being thrown in the dirt. Look how many of the losers are smiling.

6. Japan has been winning the web video game for some time. They create the zaniest game shows on the planet. Back at the beginning of youtube matrix ping pong blew my mind. Recently I discovered this clip from the same show. Their culture of perfection combines with unbridled creativity to make truly remarkable TV game shows. Move over Bob Barker, cat weight lifting is here.

5. I have had a really big soft spot for Bollywood since moving to NYC and seeing it on MNN for the first time. The bright colors, huge dance numbers, and hot women make it fantastically entertaining. For all those who liked Slumdog Millionare, that is truly just the tip of the iceberg. Bollywood makes way more movies for more eyes than Hollywood every year. The above video has been incorrectly and hysterically translated for you to enjoy.

4. This video is evidence that American military dominance is over. This tiny former Soviet block nation just told the USA to remove our massive airbase vital to the Afghan war. Skip to 1:30 in the video to see just how nonthreatening their nation is. I mean if a country with so little is telling us what for, we have seriously over extended ourselves.

3. Apparently no one told these guys Isaac Newton’s law of gravity, or that volleyball is played with hands, or that bicycle kicks are hard. I know the music is bad, but did you know such a bad ass sport existed. These guys have all of Yoda’s moves without CG. I mean they are real life Jedi masters.

2. As a kid I was forever debating who was tougher, Jet Li, Bruce Lee, or Jackie Chan. This video is evidence Jackie Chan may make that claim. He was trained by the Chinese circus, verus Jet Li’s Shoalin Kung Fu and Bruce Lee’s Wing Chung. These ancient circuses make Cirque du Soleil look mundane. They illustrate how Chinese people are able to work and move together like we can only imagine. If military planners ever think of going to war with China, I hope videos like this stop them in their tracks.

1. Hollywood likes to imagine aliens making first contact with Washington and the world’s military powers. Wrong! This is evidence aliens regularly chill with Tuvans in frozen Russia. How does a human being make these sounds? Notice the frozen ice flows behind this couple, and how little it seems to effect the man’s bare hands. Also note the woman is singing the base part. If anyone speaks alien it has got to be these guys. And if you were an alien tourist wouldn’t you rather see this than Disney World.

All of these videos clearly show the world is still really big. Anyone who thinks America could or should assert its cultural dominance all over the world is a fool. It just won’t work. People are wonderfully different all over the place, and we shouldn’t want to change that one bit. Luckily the web lets us see just how diverse and awesome people are everywhere. Asia FTW (For The Win)!!!!!!

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