Top ten reasons WHY you should let your dog sleep in your bed:
1) You can set your thermostat to a cooool 63 degrees: stick a pillow case over the back end of your pup (only if you own a maltese) and POOF! magic! you’ve got a make-shift heating blanket at next to nothing of cost. There is a reason why they call it “the sak” ya know..
2) To relinquish guilt: If a dog is sleeping in your bed, the chances of it passing gas are greater than one would care to fathom. Thus, if you by-accidentally let one fly and don’t want your significant other to be nauseated by the baking in the oven, blame it on the dog’s in-proper manners.
3) Less vacuuming: hair falls out, it’s science. You hate pulling out that 1970’s, 40-pd, geriatric dust-sucker whose cord could span the length of the brooklyn bridge? Give your carpet a rest for the night and invite fido up to bed.
4) Become an excellent Spooner: I’m already reputable at this, but I can bet you’d fancy being better. Tip: You need to be the spoon-er, let him being the spoon-ee.
5) Less hairballs: Odds are that your cat likes sleeping on your face. So when you let your dog up to bed, kitty kitty will succumb to the larger species and hit up their lush (yet for some reason still brand-new and untouched) velvet cat bed near the bay window instead.
6) A warm body: For those nights when you just can’t stand to be alone any longer, miss that companionship of a loved one, feel so incredibly sorry for yourself for having a desolate and celibate bed, look downward upon those big brown eyes and…welcome him to your berth for a little luvin’.
7) An allied chorus: Studies have shown that partners who spend inordinate amounts of time together will assimilate their bodily functions such as menstrual cycles (eeew) and yawning. Here you can both snore together, in a harmonious manner whilst making music in slumberland.
8 ) It will make their day: It’s like Christmas for you. But for a dog, more like the last supper. Lamb-chops with beef stew, veal and raw chicken legs- your dog wants to sleep with you almost as much as it would want to devour the comestibles listed.
9) Undeniable Cuteness: your dog is cute, so why not reward cuteness? Don’t act like you don’t speak baby/doggie talk, embrace that fact that sometimes you want to squeeze the life out of them. (hypothetically speaking).
10) Because you can: It’s your dog, or your friends dog, or your sister’s-cousin’s-rabbi’s -barber’s dog. Whatever the case, it’s your decision and you can tell Cezar Millan to go put a cork in it (PG-13 style), you are the “alpha” and when being alpha you make the orders, and the orders are hot-dog (not pig… get it?) in a blanket- YOUR blankets.