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Movie Reviews of Movies I Haven’t Seen: Australia

Image via about.com

Image via about.com

I am so excited to see “Australia” I dream about Australian things. I wish I was kidding that Friday night I dreamed a kangaroo was attacking me and I was trying to tell Juan that kangaroos are mean and I need him to help, but Juan turned into an ostrich and ran away, but I’m not.
It should be noted that I hated “Moulin Rogue” I was going through a really difficult time in my life that I like to refer to as “the years I pretended to hate musicals, but really I was kind of embarrassed by them until I realized that all my favorite movies are actually musicals (hello Easter Parade).” Now I love them unabashedly. So I really should see it again. Also, I’m aware that “Australia” is not a musical, but with Hugh Jackman wearing ascots and Nicole Kidman’s face not moving at all while she runs through fire bombs in pretty 1940s dresses, I’m pretty sure “Australia” is going to bring the cheese.
I’m going to love it.

After the jump, there has to be a reason Hugh Jackman was voted the “Sexiest Man Alive” in a year that there was no X-Men movie…

My knowledge of Australia as a nation/continent is severely lacking. I assume that once the first-generation of crazies and criminals were faded out that they’ve settled into a normal existence. From school I remember learning about kids who went to class over short-wave radio (but I assume this has changed since the invention of the internet), I knew an Australian girl who used to dip pretzels in cold pasta sauce, and I had to look it up just to be sure but there was never a war in Australia (Japanese subs attacked Sydney harbor in WWII, but nothing huge).

Its interesting to me that the trailer for the “Australia” changed over the past few weeks. Does this secretly mean that the movie is bad? The last time I noticed this was with “Good Luck Chuck” which I’m 100% positive (without having seen it) is terrible. The first “Australia” trailer I saw Nicole Kidman was telling a story to the little Aborigine kid, telling them (boy or girl? There’s a “Beyond Thunderdome” ambiguity there) a love story. The second trailer nixed the entire idea of her telling it and brought the kid into the story as something Kidman was searching for…

Whichever way the actual narrative pans out, I think this high-budget action/romance might seriously disappoint! I don’t want it to happen, I want SO BAD to love it, I want everyone to love it! But I’m nervous, reviews are mixed, and even though people need a kind hearted love story once in a while, I worry that other cheese-bombs are going to smoke “Australia” right out of the water.

For me and my new subconscious obsession with all things Australian, I think instead of waiting around for “Crocodile Dundee 2” to be on TBS, I’ll pay my $12 and see “Australia” in my local Cineplex. If you go into it with an open mind and no expectations, “Australia” can be just what your cold-dead heart is looking for!

With only reading review headlines, seeing a few trailers, loving Hugh Jackman a lot, and feeling bad about the things I said about “Moulin Rogue…”

I give this film 3 very hopeful stars, out of 4.*

*Can someone make me a star graphic?

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