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Broadway Reviews of Broadway Musicals I Haven’t Seen: The Book of Mormon

Freshman year of college a friend was listening to the Les Mis soundtrack and she was like “This is my favorite I listen to it all the time!” and I asked her how many times she had seen it. 0! She had never seen it, she just imagined along with the music! It made me want to strangle her, not as badly as I want to strangle people who incessantly listen to the candle song from rent, but enough. Here we are, 11 years later and I want to officially say I’m sorry. $12 recently bought me The Book of Mormon soundtrack and it was worth every penny.

The biggest regret of my whole entire life is not buying BOM tickets when they were first available. I KNEW I was going to love it, I KNEW everyone was going to love it! I hesitated, and I lose at life. Now the tickets are approximately a zillion dollars and it’s sold out until the end of the world. So I’m forced to use my freaking imagination to figure out what’s going on. Luckily, in my head all white boys look the same.

Here’s what I can tell you for certain about The Book of Mormon: It is so fucking goddamn laugh out loud shit show hilarious fuck fuck amazeballs, shit fuck.

I swear A LOT and this was a lot of swearing. I hope that people were watching my face on the train as I listened to it and simultaneously laughed hysterically and cringed. I’ve met a lot of Mormons in my time and they’re for the most part perfectly normal and respectful people (actual line from BOM: let’s be really fucking polite to people!). Then when you get down to the actual beliefs it’s very difficult to understand what they’re thinking (actual line from BOM: We believe that in 1978 God changed his mind about black people!) What BOM gets across is the dichotomy between these people who very innocently believe what they’re told and have accepted that salvation is waiting them. While on the other hand they have to suppress any feelings they have of lust, homosexuality and caffeine.

If someone really really believes that this book will get you to that magical god-planet I guess it makes sense that they would want to share it with other people. It’s kind of nice actually. Am I becoming more accepting of religion now? Am I sympathizing with proselytizers? Did BOM just make me a better person? World=upside down.

Any fears that you have that BOM is offensive to Mormons I can assure you are unfounded. Everyone will probably be offended. Although in the end I think everyone’s problems will be a little more in perspective and faith itself will give you a reason to smile.

Trey Parker and Matt Stone are nothing short of geniuses and I feel like that word can’t possibly do them justice. They’re as talented as Bill Clinton is charming. How’s that?

This morning I downloaded the actual book The Book of Mormon to my kindle, so +1 for openmindedness and acceptance. Which I think is the point of BOM after all.

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