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Top 10 Items on Amazon That You MUST Add To Your Wedding Registry

I’m getting married!!! Wooo!!! No, we don’t have a date, but that doesn’t mean a girl can’t start thinking about the awesome gifts that she’s going to receive! For as long as I can remember I have had this dream of registering at Crate & Barrel, I imagined my hubby-to-be and I strolling the isles and using the wireless scanner to pick out dishes! Unfortunately that dream died a long time ago for two very important reasons.

1. Crate & Barrel is expensive man!
2. On the 8th day the Lord created Amazon, the most amazing wonderful useful website in all the land! (all images henceforth, courtesy of Amazon!)

Wondering what to register for? There are plenty of registery guides you can check out,,, which is really helpful for place setting guidelines etc and The Knot has a HUGE checklist (a shower radio! If only I had a shower that was big enough to hold both me and a radio!)

The geniuses at Amazon have created an easy registery creator and since its Amazon… well that means you have the power to register for just about ANYTHING. Like, seriously anything! So forget crystal goblets and guest towels and let’s make a list of things that will REALLY last forever!

1. Hand Carved Moose Head

what sound do mooses make

If you’re anything like me (and I just assume most people are) the first thing you asked your partner for when you moved in together was a fake animal head to hang above the couch. Maybe you were shot down the first time and have been waiting for the right moment to bring it up again? Now’s the time to really put your foot down! The decorating decisions have to be made to last a lifetime and we’re all about setting ground rules! Just picture this guy with a little tinsel on his antlers during the holidays, or a pair of sunglasses in July! Endless fun and nobody got hurt!

2. A Christmas Tree!


When I was growing up in the 80s it was totally not cool to have a fake Christmas tree. My dad literally dragged us out to the forest to get our own tree (my actual first memory, being lost in the forest) and my mom spent December 1 – January 1 vacuuming up pine needles. Now that I’m older and wiser and afraid of fires and animals I’m leaning towards fake tree. It’s a onetime cost, you don’t have to murder a tree every year and I’m pretty sure that Sky Mall sells bags where you don’t even have to take the decorations off! (they do!)

3. Mini fridge with lock

this holds secrets!

You’re going to want this. I don’t care if it’s you first anniversary BBQ and you’re squeezing your work-friends onto your balcony to grill tofu burgers and you need a place to stash the mustard. Or, if you’re much older and laying in bed with a crying baby who NEEDS some juice, roll over there’s your mini fridge! The lock is a bonus, think of all the things you’d like to hide from houseguests but need a fridge to do so? Expensive champagne, delicious cheeses, even leftovers that you dream about all day long then get home to find them eaten! No more!

4. A dual egg poacher/toaster

mmm time saving

I cannot think of a more useful kitchen appliance. Move over, KitchenAid Mixer you are no longer needed, and how often do I make my own pasta anyway?* Please take a moment to check out the pictures HERE. THERE IS A BUTTON FOR EACH OF THE FOUR POSSIBLE THINGS TO TOAST! That’s it though! You’re limited to those 4! If I even see you try to stick an eggo in there I will come to your house and burn you with the eggs mid poach!

5. Anything Royal Wedding Related

perfect for grilled cheese!

Unfortunately for you if you’re working on your registry now you’re probably getting married after 4/29/11 (watch for me tweeting from @popten starting at 5am EST on Friday 4/29! Once in a life time people (unless you happen to remember the one in the 80s)! I’m making scones and we’re watching this ish live!), so basically all this stuff will be on sale! And I mean it when I say ALL this, here’s a sample

Knit your own Royal wedding!

Paper Dolls!

A large variety of china


I’m dying. This stuff is so good! Also I wanted to mention that I saw on CNN the other day that William WON’T wear a wedding ring and I was appalled, just like they wanted me to be! Those bastards! I’ve been thinking and thinking and imagining and the ONLY possibility where there would be someone in the world who wouldn’t know that he was married would be if there was someone with that disease where they couldn’t remember anything each morning. Seriously, if your selling point is you’re a prince, even if they don’t recognize you they’ll say price of where? You say… England… and basically they know who you are. Not that he’ll even have a hard time sleeping with other people if he wants to. Moral of the story? Regular dudes WEAR YOUR GODDAMN WEDDING RINGS! Princes – do whatever you want. As in you know, life. Anyway, if you get 8 china plates you can eat off them all the time! So I say go for it!

6. One-Person Bicycling Tent

I know what you’re thinking! What the hell is a one person bicycling tent? It’s exactly what you’re imagining:

totally not going to get attacked by bears

You know what this tent is ideal for? Running away. Are you angry at your spouse? Do you need to get away from your inlaws? Now you don’t even need friends or a hotel room or a bar… you just need your bike and the open road my friend! Challenge yourself to see how far you can go! Head over to your office and pitch the tent by the front door and you’ll be employee of the month in no time! Happy work life = happy home life my friends!

7. Giant World MegaMap!

pop quiz hot shots

Get yours now before the topography becomes unrecognizable! So I grew up looking at maps, my grandma loves to travel within North America. She has state magnets on her fridge from every state she visited and large maps in her kitchen, she also LOVES Canada (not really relevant, just saying). Her maps are unframed and just tacked to the wall, which I think is hilarious and very dorm room of her. This is another gift that’s sort of a think-ahead to when you have children. Children who don’t know where the countries are grow up into adults who don’t know where the countries are, and that’s just embarrassing. In the meantime bring your ipad, load up some NYTimes and learn where Libya is.

Bonus: Map tacks

8. 32-Pound Dumbbell Set with Stand

this is so 80s my head hurts

Do you know the reason why the only weights I have at my house are 2lbs each? It involves the distance from the sports store to my home and the fact that when you buy weights and carry them home you have to spend a few days in an ice bath to recover. You’ve never carried 32 lbs of anything so much as a block, admit it! This is a must-deliver item (and eligible for Prime shipping, so you don’t have to feel bad about the added costs!) that you can use to dry your shoes on rainy days too! (if you need me to draw you a picture of how this works I’m available)

9. Picnic Time Windsor Picnic Basket, Service for 4

ants included!

I’m obsessed with reading the list of things included with this. Do you ever feel like when you buy a kit or something that includes a lot of small pieces that it feels like winning a prize? What’s this! Look at this pocket! Omg I found TWO bottle stoppers!

Included in this set; four porcelain plates, four 8-ounce wine glasses, four sets of stainless steel utensils, four double-wall stainless steel mugs, four cotton napkins, one hardwood cutting board, one cheese knife with wooden handle, one set stainless steel salt and pepper shakers, one stainless steel waiter’s style corkscrew, one bottle stopper, one stainless steel vacuum flask, one insulated corduroy cooler bag, one fully insulated corduroy wine duffle, two food containers with lids, and a matching 50-inch by 60-inch fleece blanket that can be attched [sic! oooh they spelled attached wrong! Should I tell them?] to the top of the basket using the leather straps.

10. Crystal Chandelier

I really do love this

One aspect of apartment living is that you’re probably missing the elusive formal dining room, hang this baby over your card table and you’ve got instant class! Plus, it’s super pretty! If you’re having a party you can just turn the chandelier on and hire someone to shake it a lot and instant disco ball! Bonus, if you have a small child eventually they can shake it for FREE and it pretty much pays for itself!

Best of luck to you on your new life together! May your ratio of eggs to toast always match and may your nights in the one person bike tent be few and far between!

* Just kidding person who eventually buys me a KitchenAid mixer that I’m TOTALLY putting on my registry IRL. Thank you thank you I will use it all the time!

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