Browse By

Hey Park Slope… Das Racist (for real)

Attention Park Slopers!… Brooklynites!… New Yorkers!… really, anyone with a working cerebrum. There is a weasel in our midst!

He/she calls him/herself Jennifer McMillen, and gained notoriety last week after posting a mind-numbing display of I-swear-I’m-not-racist racism on petitionbuzz.com. In it, he/she urges fellow Park Slope residents to discourage the owner of a forthcoming neighborhood establishment from spinning hip-hop in the “family-centric” community.

…First, let me explain what’s at the heart of this conflict: I know for a fact that there’s no single type of establishment (or type of bar/club patron for that matter) that Park Slopers would inherently view as “undesirable.” I don’t think anyone would deny that Park Slopers are about the least “racist” people on the planet…

It’s not “racist” to equate hip-hop with an elevated crime rate vis a vi other types of musical genres – It’s just a statistical fact that crime is more likely to occur among urban audiences than among audiences of other demographics. R&B and rap happen to be my two favorite types of music, but no one (especially my African American friends and colleagues) would seriously deny that hip-hop’s violent history tragically precedes it.

In addition, conveniently(!), we also happen to be in the middle of an unprecedented drought of live music. Seventh Ave has ZERO venues for live music by indie artists, and is absolutely ripe for the right type of establishment to come along and breathe life into the live music scene. The business owner who is able to do THAT will reap financial rewards far beyond what they could hope to earn by selling Henessey/etc to basketball fans after a Nets game.

The whole thing is pretty gross. First of all, there are like 11 false statements in this excerpt alone. Also, why is racist in quotations? Moron.

Needless to say, the internet is all a flutter! Some are speculating whether McMillen is merely a humorless prankster, or a spineless interloper. But most of the coverage is focused on the appropriate backlash that has erupted from the community, which has transpired in the form of some hilarious fake signatures being submitted to McMillan’s petition.

A sampling, for your reading pleasure:

“I love your hair, can I touch it?” – Separate but Indie

Birth of An (Indie) Nation

I love black people. Just not “that kind”.

I paid too much for my house to see you people having fun.

Passive aggressive racism is my favorite kind of racism.

There are tons more to read through. It’s awesome. Also, the parody train is full steam ahead.

It’s not unlikely that the whole thing is a big hoax.

But if these words are, in fact, the ramblings of a misguided idiot who believes him/herself to hold the best of intentions, let their clumsiness be a lesson to us all when attempting any sort of civic involvement:

Sanctimony is a big, fat no-no.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *