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Friday Round Up Asks WWSBD?

You heard me! What Would Sandy Bullock Do? The Answer of course ties to #1, the most classy thing possible.

1. So you win an Oscar and 45 seconds later it comes out that your husband is a gross-ass-man-whore. What do you do? Scream? Cry? Talk about what a d-bag he is on tv? I’ll tell you what you do if you’re Sandy B, you stay inside BECAUSE YOU SECRETLY HAVE JUST ADOPTED A CHILD AND NEED TO TAKE CARE OF HIM! Huzzah! Burn. Awesome. Congratulations Mama!!! What makes this worse of course, is that they were planning this adoption for FOUR YEARS, it takes a long time to get a baby! Picture this: Jesse James is in his home with Sandy, signing papers NOT ONLY to get a new baby, but ALSO to have Sandy get custody of his already born children. Then he quietly excuses himself to go stick his penis in a neo-nazi. Classy JJ. She’s filed for divorce, she has a new baby, and and a crap-ton of awards. Good for you Sandra B, you’re my hero.

2. Speaking of cheaters, it’s recently been reports that Tiger Woods had about 120 affairs! I don’t even know 120 people! I know a lot the people who are reading this right now and I know none of you have slept with 120 people! How do you manage that!?! I’ve mentioned it before but sheesh that guy can keep a calendar! A few weeks back Jim Carrey tweeted that Elin must have known and everyone gave him crap… buuut I’m inclined to agree, there is NO WAY AT ALL EVEN A LITTLE, that you don’t notice that your husband has slept with ONE HUNDRED AND TWENTY other people. I’m so exasperated I made this picture so you can have a visual of how many 120 really is:

Each of those dots represents a bimbo!

3. So Time Magazine did their Top 100 influential people and I’m reading the bios and I get to Glenn Beck‘s and it says this:

His love of the Founding Fathers inspires others to learn and respect our nation’s history. Best of all, Glenn delights in driving the self-proclaimed powers-that-be crazy. (The whole country awaits the red phone ringing!) Even his critics (whom he annihilates in ratings) have to admire his amazing ability to galvanize everyday Americans to better themselves and peacefully engage their government.

I’m thinking, wait, what? How is that the bio for Glenn Beck? That literally makes no sense… then I note the author: Sarah Palin. hahaha of course.

4. In local news, did you know there’s something called a Dead’s Man Switch on NYC Subway trains? If you’re like, gee that sounds terrifying… it is! Subway drivers have to hold it down AT ALL TIMES, if they’re not holding it down the general assumption is that they’re dead. Last week it worked! Eek.

5. For a musical interlude let’s take it back to 1984 to the most crushable of General Hospital’s characters ever, Frisco Jones.

6. Just for fun here’s the first paragraph of Frisco Jones’ wikipedia page:

Frisco and Felicia met in 1984, when Frisco discovered a boy breaking into his apartment in search of an Aztec ring. Frisco was surprised when he pulled off the boy’s cap and discovered that the boy was in fact Felicia—a girl. Felicia revealed that she was descended from a line of Aztec royalty and that she was searching for her family’s treasure. Frisco agreed to help. Later on, the two fell in love and Frisco helped Felicia search for the treasure. In 1986, Felicia and Frisco were married. However, Frisco was sent on an assignment for the WSB, a spy organization. It was then reported he was killed in the line of duty.

I need to watch more soaps.

7. There are words to the I Love Lucy song!

8. Look at this lovely ad from Britain, as noted in the Mail, it’ll make you cry.

9. Leslie Buck, the creator of the iconic NYC blue “we are happy to serve you” coffee cup passed away this week.

10. And finally, are you lonely? Are you having trouble finding someone who fits into your lifestyle of pit dancing and wearing guy-liner? I have a site for you!
punkmatch.com. No no, seriously.

Punk Match, free punk dating site that focuses on the punk rock lifestyle. Meet other lovers of punk rock that are single and looking for love. No other punk personals website has the number of punkrock member that we have.

Sounds romantic to me! Happy love-filled weekend!

2 thoughts on “Friday Round Up Asks WWSBD?”

  1. Jenny says:

    Not to be a feminista or anything…but why call the girls “bimbos”. Not fair Hawkes, not fair. I mean seriously, we ALL would love to sleep with a celebrity. If Ryan Reynolds even slightly hinted at wanting to sleep with me, I would ask when, where, and how fast can I get there…and I’m not a bimbo.

    Why not instead say, “these are all the strange places skeevy Tiger tried to stick it”.

    Interesting way to literally illustrate the point though!

  2. Hawkes Klein says:

    mmmm I just don’t believe that a nice girl would sleep with someone who’s married with babies! I don’t care how famous he is, we all have our “lists” but I don’t know if we’d actually go through with it. Maybe their not “bimbos” but they certainly had a lapse of moral judgment when they let Tiger stick it.

    Although, now that you mention it if The Rock ever actually tried to sleep with me I really don’t know how I’d handle it…

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