Movie Reviews of Movies I Haven’t Seen: Cop Out
By Hawkes Klein
Holy Mother of Jackie Chan, yes. I’m sort of angry at everyone I know that nobody took the time to alert me that this trailer was available. It wasn’t until this week when I turned the corner on my way to work and saw the three story ad boasting “Rock Out with Your Glock Out” that I knew we had a winner on our hands.
Like all of you, I’m sure, I love a good interracial cop comedy! I actually watched a Lethal Weapon this weekend, I watch National Security whenever it’s on TV, I even watched 48 Hours the other day (side note: Eddie Murphy’s IMDB has a note for an “Untitled Eddie Murphy Romeo & Juliet Project” hardly the authority on romance, Eddie). Initially, I’m cautious, and I really am holding myself to my grudge against Kevin Smith since he rigged the Best Week Ever 90’s movie poll . I see two possible problems with Cop Out. One, Tracy Morgan pretty much plays the same guy in everything. I’m not sick of it, I’m still very happy with his performances, but it just concerns me that he’s not branching out. I’m similarly concerned about the cast of Mad Men… can they only play characters from Mad Men? If I can find a tv role where I just get to be one character and then transform that role into movies and SNL appearances, could I win a Golden Globe?
Second problem, when did Bruce Willis start actually looking like a 54 year old man? He was on Letterman the other day in a Jets jersey and he looked older than Brett Favre did in a Jets jersey, and that’s really hard to do. I’m concerned that Bruce is living on an all micro-biotic veggie diet to improve his blood pressure, when really I think he might just need a cheeseburger.
The saving grace? Seann William Scott. Where have you been ( I just wrote beeeen and now the word been looks weird and I had to google and my head hurts) ? Why are there two n’s in Seann? I’m getting super sidetracked talking about this movie… Touché, Cop Out that’s exactly what I’m supposed to do! Cop Out will make light of the dangers in our society and make us feel at ease (unlike, I don’t know, Surrogates) you’re not in it for great dialogue, you’re in it for the simple fun of it. I’m not going to watch this movie in the theater. But I AM going to watch it on TBS a billion Sunday mornings in a row, it’s going to remind me that I need to purchase the Shanghai Knights/Noon DVDs. I’m going to order Dominos and probably donates to the Deanne Favre Hope Foundation. Movies like this are insanely watchable, incredibly additive, and I’m not ashamed to say I’ll continue to be a cop com fan for many years to come!
Three Stars!
Shanghai Noon is aces. And I object very strongly to what Hollywood is doing to Jackie Chan.
Sidebar: If your remake of the Karate Kid takes place in CHINA and involves a kung fu master… you should probably call your movie something else.
First of all, I apologize. Believe me, if I knew you didn’t know I would be sending you crazy amounts of email about how REDIC this movie looks. (Redic in both positive and negative connotations). It is seriously like every movie Tracy Jordan makes on 30 Rock. In fact, I can’t believe this movie isn’t just a 30 Rock promo…
(For your reading pleasure, here’s a list of all his movies… http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tracy_Jordan#Career_and_history
I can’t wait for A Blaffair to Rememblack comes out. Wait, I’m sorry, i mean Death at a Funeral (also a Hawkes Klein fave). No seriously, I’ll be in the theater for that one. Not joking!)
Side bar: Ji-Un, i recently lost a long standing friendship over my support of everything that is Jackie Chan. Now, I know that the remake goes against everything I believe in. But if Mr. Chan can make the movie The Tuxedo awesome, I have every confidence that Karate Kid will be ok…that’s if mini Will Smith doesn’t screw it up.