Hot Body Count = 10
By Hawkes Klein
I’m sorry this Tiger Woods stuff is too good to be true! Juicy Juicy! My dad called me the other day and he goes “so, I’m sitting in my car googling Tiger Woods jokes…” hahaha I love it.
So I’m reading the Daily Mail (because gossip is much better from Britain, naturally) and THIS article is amazing (there’s even a number to call if you have more info: DO YOU KNOW ANY WOMEN LINKED TO TIGER WOODS? CONTACT NEWSDESK ON (+44) 0207 938 6364 hahahhah I love you DM also, everything you cut and paste includes a link to the article! Congratulations on being brilliant).
So now there are 10 women involved! TEN. Do you know the scope of organization that involves? I’m having a hard time wrapping my head around it! You have to keep them away from his wife, the media, and each other! You have to know who’s out and who’s in and who is where in the WORLD. This is an international project! You have to make sure they’re not at golf tournaments, you have to use fake names for hotel stays and handle different phone bills! His assistant must have been FANTASTIC!
Now get this, a few years ago someone approached a tall leggy Swedish hottie to start dating Tiger…
…she blogged that she was at a party where she met Woods’ ‘agent’ at a party. [sic]
She described him as a ‘really strange man who I assumed was gay,’ adding ‘he wanted to tell me something special.’
After accepting a lunch invitation, she said the man asked her ‘strange questions’.
‘He wondered if I knew who Tiger Woods was, and obviously I did,’ she wrote. ‘He said he was friends with Tiger and that Tiger loved girls like me.’
‘He said that Tiger was looking for a girlfriend and that he wanted to introduce me to him.
‘I never got back to the guy, obviously, even if Tiger is rich, he’s also ugly as sin and absolutely not my type. Was that guy a pimp for Tiger?’
OMG YES. Tiger had a possibly-gay dude jetting around the GLOBE cruising chicks for him! I’m picturing this:
I’m super excited, I hope that guy gets to write a book, although I’m sure his non-disclosure agreement is insane. So he should write a hypothetical book on how to balance even the most hectic of lifestyles. Oh! Maybe it could be a planner with tips and tricks in the margins. MYSTERY QUASI-PIMP PLEASE CALL ME! I have ideas.
