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Movie Reviews of Movies I Haven’t Seen: Precious

Picture this: A friend sends me this trailer in an email very unassumingly titled “watch this when you get home.” I’m home now expecting something hilarious, or pop music related. I’m on the couch, I put “House” on pause and I click on the link which brings me to EW.com. The following 15 seconds are played out as such:
– A Tyler Perry and Oprah movie! Fun that they’re working together!
– Mo’Nique! She’s hilarious. I loved Beerfest.
– Mariah Carey is in this movie!!! I only made it 40% of the way through “Glitter!” I’m suspicious…
– Let’s start the trailer…
– First few seconds look good! Fun!
– OH
– MY
– GOD

– Uncontrollable body-shaking sobbing for the next 5 minutes

Follow me, let’s talk.
Did you watch it? Are you ok? Do you have a child or a loved one that you had to seek out and hug before you could click on the jump? That’s totally understandable.
First and foremost we have to talk about Mo’Nique. I caught the tail end “Soul Plane” the other day. We have never seen Mo’Nique like she is in “Precious.” She is always dressed in something fancy, makeup done and hair flawless. Just seeing her not made up is jarring, but her performance is heart-wrenching.

Who is this girl who plays Precious? I’m fascinated by her! I’m dying to see this movie and praying that she turns out ok at the end! I already know this is going to be “League of Their Own there IS in fact sobbing in baseball” emotional for me. I think it brings up issues of how fucking hard it is to be a teenager… like obviously this is a terrible situation that I can’t relate to. But we’ve all been in the dregs of teenagehood (and really adult hood too) and felt overwhelmed and terrible and hopeless. This 2 minute trailer captures that devastation briliantly for me.

I’m disappointed Lenny Kravitz wasn’t in the trailer because I’m really interested to see how he fairs in the acting category. I mean, if this film can make Mariah Carey actually do a good job there has to be hope!
Any I know that people are all like “OMG the Oscars are so dumb!” Well I refuse to believe that and I still think they’re awesome. I remember during a Barbara Walters/Britney Spears interview like four years ago Brit Brit was like “I have so much to do in my life, I want it all, I want to win an Emmy, I want to win an Oscar” and she shrugged because she knew that was ridiculous. Maybe we would have felt the same way about Mo’Nique after the second hour of “Welcome Home Roscoe Jenkins” (full disclosure, didn’t see that either). This has brought her to another level. I don’t know man, I think the chances are good, and I’m thrilled!
A million stars!

One thought on “Movie Reviews of Movies I Haven’t Seen: Precious”

  1. Jamie says:

    I missed this feature! Great review… but how many stars? I need my opinions to have numbers attached to them!

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