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Your Boyfriend Doesn’t Care About What You Ate Today

Let me repeat.

Your boyfriend doesn’t care about what you ate today.

This is important. He may listen to you summarize the details of your daily gastronomical adventures. He may exclaim over your decision to go with arugula instead of baby spinach in your tossed salad. But he doesn’t care. You should accept this and talk about something else. Trust me.

This is not intended to be misogynistic – its entirely possible that guys do this, and if you’re out there – you really need to stop too. This is a simple courtesy… I think the world would be a better place if everyone just accepted this basic rule: If someone is giving you a run down on everything they ate today, you can tell them to shut up.

A few years ago, I was dating a girl who suffered from this affliction. She was great otherwise, but in this small area, it was pretty bad. Here’s an example of the kind of conversation we’d have:

“This morning, before I got to work, I stopped at the Starbucks and got a Grande latte… but I only drank like half of it, and then I got a bagel and some cream cheese and ate a quarter of it and put it in my bag and saved it for later so I could eat it at my desk, cause sometimes I get hungry before lunch.”

“Then, when I got to my building, they had a bowl with some jolly ranchers, so I took a watermelon and ate it in the Elevator.”

Expectant Pause

At this point I would feel obliged to make conversation, so I would say something like, “Did you end up eating the bagel?”

At which point she would say, “No, not yet, its still in my bag, I don’t know if I’m going to eat it – but I did have three lifesavers as a snack around ten oclock”

Etc.

(inevitable asphyxiation as my brain attempts to crawl out my ear)

Etc.

I had to put a stop to it.

After the Jump: What Happened…

Now here’s the odd thing – I finally broke down and told her that I had absolutely no interest in hearing about what she ate that day, and if she spent another minute telling me, I would probably poke my eye out. You know what? She wasn’t even offended… she was just surprised! She had thought I cared, which is why she kept telling me! When she found how I felt, we were free to talk about other stuff which was much more interesting to the both of us.

I have since found that this is very common. All over the world you’ll find guys who are incredibly bored by this topic, but who don’t complain for fear of reprisal – and girls who talk about it because they figure the guy is interested since he keeps listening. Eventually, the guy gets kind of annoyed and only half listens, and the girl gets annoyed and feels ignored. Either that, or one person’s head explodes. This really happens.

So… if you do this (girl or guy – I don’t mean to be gender specific) think about asking your partner whether they really want to know this kind of information. If you have a significant other who does this – don’t be afraid to politely tell her how much it annoys you.

Life is far too short, and there’s far too many interesting things to talk about, to waste our time on crap no one wants to hear.

23 thoughts on “Your Boyfriend Doesn’t Care About What You Ate Today”

  1. victor says:

    Holy shit dude. You fucking nailed it. This is without a doubt by biggest pet peeve.

    Why the hell do people get into conversations about what they ate?!?

    I don’t care if you ate at Nobu- don’t run down the details of what you ate last night!!! Who the hell cares?!?

    In summary, LISTEN TO CHRIS. HE SPEAKS THE TRUTH.

    Wow dude. We’ll have to compare pet peeves sometime. I thought I was crazy for being so annoyed by this…

  2. victor says:

    Holy shit dude. You fucking nailed it. This is without a doubt by biggest pet peeve.

    Why the hell do people get into conversations about what they ate?!?

    I don’t care if you ate at Nobu- don’t run down the details of what you ate last night!!! Who the hell cares?!?

    In summary, LISTEN TO CHRIS. HE SPEAKS THE TRUTH.

    Wow dude. We’ll have to compare pet peeves sometime. I thought I was crazy for being so annoyed by this…

  3. Pedro says:

    I ate a grape fruit and an apple for breakfast. I am thinking about drinking a cup of tea now. For lunch I hope to eat something light, maybe sushi. But for dinner I am going to Nobu to eat a stinking bag of poop. Nice post Chris.

  4. Pedro says:

    I ate a grape fruit and an apple for breakfast. I am thinking about drinking a cup of tea now. For lunch I hope to eat something light, maybe sushi. But for dinner I am going to Nobu to eat a stinking bag of poop. Nice post Chris.

  5. hawkesklein says:

    Ok. Ok I’ve been thinking about this and actually, fair that nobody cares what I eat throughout the day… And also fair that some girls just do it because they think you care or they have nothing better to talk about, and that’s a different issue.
    But for me, and other girls I know who talk about food, it’s actually something a lot more serious. We are the average girls who you notice five pounds on, we are the girls who agonize over every second spent exercising or eating.
    The fat girls can eat whatever they want and you don’t notice. You notice us. You notice if we work out or if we don’t you notice every thing we eat, at least we think you do, we’re trying to justify ourselves and be ok with these terrible bodies we were left with. Everything I have eaten since the first time I remember being aware of my weight has had a consequence. Have you ever counted calories not to lose weight but to hurt yourself later because you hate yourself for being weal? Have you cried in a dressing room or stood in one place in the gym for 20 minutes staring into nothing because you can’t figure
    out why you’re not strong enough to just. Stop. eating.
    Have you ever been expected to cook four course meals but not been expected to eat? Have you ever tried to discuss your sub-clinical eating disorder, which is real and heartbreaking, with someone only to have them tell you that you’re just “being a girl” about it?
    We (the average girls who teeter the line between big and little) eat, we don’t throw it up, we don’t binge and we don’t starve, but eating is both a great reward and a terrible punishment. Not 5 minutes go by before I’m thinking about food, I never “forget to eat.”
    Actually food has been more my boyfriend than any man ever has. It has comforted me and abused me. And you know what, it doesn’t complain when I talk about you.
    So here:
    http://www.amazon.com/Life-Inside-Thin-Cage-Personal/dp/0877880387
    and here:
    http://www.findingbalance.com/

    Are the very real reasons why I talk about food so much.
    But I can’t speak for everyone, some girls are just annoying.

  6. hawkesklein says:

    Ok. Ok I’ve been thinking about this and actually, fair that nobody cares what I eat throughout the day… And also fair that some girls just do it because they think you care or they have nothing better to talk about, and that’s a different issue.
    But for me, and other girls I know who talk about food, it’s actually something a lot more serious. We are the average girls who you notice five pounds on, we are the girls who agonize over every second spent exercising or eating.
    The fat girls can eat whatever they want and you don’t notice. You notice us. You notice if we work out or if we don’t you notice every thing we eat, at least we think you do, we’re trying to justify ourselves and be ok with these terrible bodies we were left with. Everything I have eaten since the first time I remember being aware of my weight has had a consequence. Have you ever counted calories not to lose weight but to hurt yourself later because you hate yourself for being weal? Have you cried in a dressing room or stood in one place in the gym for 20 minutes staring into nothing because you can’t figure
    out why you’re not strong enough to just. Stop. eating.
    Have you ever been expected to cook four course meals but not been expected to eat? Have you ever tried to discuss your sub-clinical eating disorder, which is real and heartbreaking, with someone only to have them tell you that you’re just “being a girl” about it?
    We (the average girls who teeter the line between big and little) eat, we don’t throw it up, we don’t binge and we don’t starve, but eating is both a great reward and a terrible punishment. Not 5 minutes go by before I’m thinking about food, I never “forget to eat.”
    Actually food has been more my boyfriend than any man ever has. It has comforted me and abused me. And you know what, it doesn’t complain when I talk about you.
    So here:
    http://www.amazon.com/Life-Inside-Thin-Cage-Personal/dp/0877880387
    and here:
    http://www.findingbalance.com/

    Are the very real reasons why I talk about food so much.
    But I can’t speak for everyone, some girls are just annoying.

  7. Rachel says:

    Really? No offense, but we’ve heard that complaint from EVERYONE
    when msn does a story on it, it’s no longer relevant.

    I’d like to hear a story like “my life on soup”
    Or something on what it’s like to be a 19th century mute in the 21st century.

  8. Rachel says:

    Really? No offense, but we’ve heard that complaint from EVERYONE
    when msn does a story on it, it’s no longer relevant.

    I’d like to hear a story like “my life on soup”
    Or something on what it’s like to be a 19th century mute in the 21st century.

  9. chris says:

    Alright… I can understand this, I think. Part of the problem is that I am definitely one of those people who can forget to eat – for me – eating is pretty much just a way to keep the body processes moving. I like really good food, but anything in the mid range doesn’t really make a difference to me, so unless I’m having a special meal, the food just needs to have enough calories to keep me going, and to not make me feel terrible afterwards. So I don’t have any idea what it’s like to think about eating all the time and not be able to.

    And I’ll admit, I also don’t have much experience with people who are in the range you’re talking about. I had a roommate for two years who had a clinical (not sure what the definition is – but whatever is not sub-clinical) eating disorder, but in her case, it was impossible to get here to tell you what she ate that day. I would specifically ask because I’d be worried about her, and she’d lie, or hide it somehow… but her situation was much more serious, and she eventually had to handle it with professionals.

    And it kind of drops the PC bomb on me to call me out for being offensive to girls with eating disorders, so I may just be digging myself into a hole by talking about this, but here I go anyway…

    Quick analogy:

    I haven’t had a cigarette in a week, and for the most part I’ve been fine (although I think I’ve been dreaming about them) The times that I need them the most are when people start talking about smoking or ask if I’m craving cigarettes… (which of course pisses me off)

    So it’s hard to imagine that talking about food all the time when your trying to avoid eating it is a good idea. It seems more likely that you would get into a vicious cycle where you would think about food, then talk about food, then find people who also think and talk about food, then be stuck in a situation where food is the dominant subject of your life. That couldn’t be healthy. It would be like me hanging out with a bunch of smoking tobacco executives. I think I would probably either shoot myself or figure out how to smoke through my ears or something…

    Still eating disorders aside for a moment – the biggest problem I have with people talking extensively about what they ate is that it seems so self absorbed! If you had a really special sandwich today, and came up to me and said – hey Chris, I went to this really great restaurant and ate the best corned beef on rye that I’ve ever eaten (or even just a really good one) I’d be excited to talk to you about that. Because we could have a conversation about it… I could tell you about good corned beef sandwiches I’d eaten, and for a right there, we could have a corned beef moment together.

    My problem is when people talk about food in a way that I can’t relate to at all. When theres no potential for collective interest. If you’re on a diet, and you talk about it with your boyfriend, then its a matter of collective interest to talk about how the diet is going – discuss failures or points of improvement – or just support each other. But just giving someone a rundown of the mundane details of each meal seems more like contemplating your navel and then telling everyone else about it. I find it to be disrespectful.

    In conversations, I usually try to make an effort to talk about things that the other person has some reference for. I am obsessive about football, but I don’t talk about the evolution of the spread formation with people who don’t know the difference between the AFC and the NFC. Its that courtesy thing I was talking about…

    Here’s my key point in all of this: Just because something is important to me, it doesn’t mean that other people have a responsibility to care about it. One would hope that you and your significant other share many interests, and you should be able to talk about those things at length. But there’s always going to be stuff that you don’t share, and resenting the other person for not caring about those things is only going to create problems.

    Would you want your boyfriend to call you up and describe in detail the strategy involved in a 20 minute Halo match? Maybe if you were a big time Halo fan… But if you had never played the game – you’d probably think it was really dumb.

    So… if talking about food seriously relates to my girlfriend’s health and sanity, she should expect me to think it’s important, and I would care about it because I care about her and her safety.

    But if she’s just assuming that I should care about every last little random thing she does, then I’m going to have a problem with her…

  10. hawkesklein says:

    hahah I would love if my boyfriend called me to detail ANYTHING that happened to him during the day!

    That’s what makes us different I guess.

    Food will always be dominant in my life, maybe its a DNA thing from being a gatherer and trying to figure out where my family will get their next meal. I am always thinking about it.

    Also, ladies, we just got one of those three flavor popcorn holiday tins in the office!
    what whaaaaaaaaaat.

  11. hawkesklein says:

    hahah I would love if my boyfriend called me to detail ANYTHING that happened to him during the day!

    That’s what makes us different I guess.

    Food will always be dominant in my life, maybe its a DNA thing from being a gatherer and trying to figure out where my family will get their next meal. I am always thinking about it.

    Also, ladies, we just got one of those three flavor popcorn holiday tins in the office!
    what whaaaaaaaaaat.

  12. victor says:

    Wow Chris, hell of a treatise you wrote. I was going to merely say- I totally hear the eating disorder thing, I dated an anorexic for a long time, but that doesn’t seem to be the motivation for the girls I’m talking about to mention food.

    They’re usually just enthralled about what they ordered at a restaurant, or having the conversation Baily detailed about the half bagel. They’re not comparing calories. They just think it is socially fine to have conversations about what they ate that day.

    And it drives me crazy.

  13. victor says:

    Wow Chris, hell of a treatise you wrote. I was going to merely say- I totally hear the eating disorder thing, I dated an anorexic for a long time, but that doesn’t seem to be the motivation for the girls I’m talking about to mention food.

    They’re usually just enthralled about what they ordered at a restaurant, or having the conversation Baily detailed about the half bagel. They’re not comparing calories. They just think it is socially fine to have conversations about what they ate that day.

    And it drives me crazy.

  14. Rachel says:

    Victor, last time i checked, you weren’t a girl. For the most part, i can say that girls generally discuss what was eaten to take a mental tally of total consumption that day…and also to compare it to the other person in the convo.

    It’s not so much being self absorbed…it’s just that when you say it out loud, you admit to yourself how “bad” or “good” you’ve been that day. It’s totally Weight Watchers IRL.

    I however, tend to bore people with random stories of ridiculous foods…ie why the hell is seaweed salad soo freaking good…and before 9 i had already eaten a handful of candy and a bag of doritos (thats what we would call a “bad” day).

  15. Rachel says:

    Victor, last time i checked, you weren’t a girl. For the most part, i can say that girls generally discuss what was eaten to take a mental tally of total consumption that day…and also to compare it to the other person in the convo.

    It’s not so much being self absorbed…it’s just that when you say it out loud, you admit to yourself how “bad” or “good” you’ve been that day. It’s totally Weight Watchers IRL.

    I however, tend to bore people with random stories of ridiculous foods…ie why the hell is seaweed salad soo freaking good…and before 9 i had already eaten a handful of candy and a bag of doritos (thats what we would call a “bad” day).

  16. victor says:

    Thanks for speaking on behalf of all females in the world, Rachel. Clearly you know my friends better than I know them.

    I don’t think it’s self-absorbed and I’m not hating. I just find it annoying.

    Chris, I think you’ve hit a nerve…

  17. victor says:

    Thanks for speaking on behalf of all females in the world, Rachel. Clearly you know my friends better than I know them.

    I don’t think it’s self-absorbed and I’m not hating. I just find it annoying.

    Chris, I think you’ve hit a nerve…

  18. Nick says:

    This is very good. Though I think you could generalize further. It’s also not that interesting which friends of hers are mad at which other friends. And many other examples.

    Op. Cit. :

    Movie “Hustle & Flow”
    Scene: Dinner with the wife, right before Terence Howard and his tricks ring the bell

  19. Nick says:

    This is very good. Though I think you could generalize further. It’s also not that interesting which friends of hers are mad at which other friends. And many other examples.

    Op. Cit. :

    Movie “Hustle & Flow”
    Scene: Dinner with the wife, right before Terence Howard and his tricks ring the bell

  20. Jason Reynolds says:

    Chris. That was awesome. I don’t pretend to know what women are thinking. Lol. But it just seems like girl-talk spillover. Like I’ve heard my mother talk about hilarious things with her friends, and bring it to me…and I’m peeved.

    It would be like us having a crazy convo about football, and then talking to our ladies in depth about football, who scored what, who’s O line is shit, who needs a better offensive coordinator, etc. I’ve never dated a girl, who wouldn’t be a little blown, or who wouldn’t just tune me out. Haahaha same thing, if you ask me.

  21. Jason Reynolds says:

    Chris. That was awesome. I don’t pretend to know what women are thinking. Lol. But it just seems like girl-talk spillover. Like I’ve heard my mother talk about hilarious things with her friends, and bring it to me…and I’m peeved.

    It would be like us having a crazy convo about football, and then talking to our ladies in depth about football, who scored what, who’s O line is shit, who needs a better offensive coordinator, etc. I’ve never dated a girl, who wouldn’t be a little blown, or who wouldn’t just tune me out. Haahaha same thing, if you ask me.

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