File Under: What? – File 3

By Jeremy Kotin

-Not quite just another meal in the big city

It started as a standard meal in the West Village.  As the appetizer was being served, I turned and saw we had been seated next to Lisa the “evil lesbian” from Top Chef: Chicago.  I wasn’t sure if this meant I was at a good restaurant, I mean she was in the top three, but she was also such a grade-A biatch.  As our entrees made their way to the table, James Franco walked by, that was nice on the eyes.  Pausing before ordering dessert, my dinner companion noticed that water dripping from an air conditioner up above kept landing directly in my water glass without me noticing until the end of the meal, that can’t be good for the stomach.  Finally as a scrumptious dessert was placed in front of me, a car drives by and a man sticks his head out and screams “I eat pussy…”

…I quickly screamed back, “and I most certainly don’t!”  I wonder what Lisa was thinking.